Midwifery

As many of you know I have had all 4 of my babies at home. My journey with midwifery started 10 years ago. My best friend was pregnant with her first baby and she decided she was going use a midwife to bring this child into the world. I thought it was awesome and I kind of rolled the idea around in my own head. At the time I wasn't sure that I could handle having a kid at home, but through many wonderful circumstances it ended up that my first was born at home with the help of a midwife. After that my 3 other kids were born at home.

Each time I was pregnant I thought about becoming a midwife. It scares me to even think about it. It really truly does. You are helping a child come into this wonderful, scary world. I never felt like the timing was right, and I kind of just chalked it up to one of those things that interests me but never could happen, but then something happened....

During my pregnancy with my 4th child I found a wonderful midwife close to where I live. I chose her because she works with 2 other midwives. She has a midwife for the mom, a midwife for the baby, and a midwife for the midwife. I loved this concept. Also something I really loved was after I met with her she told me to go home and pray about them being my midwife, AND they would pray about having me as a patient. Another score! I love that they want to pray about it. Of course include the Lord in such a wonderful experience. As I was leaving one of my appointments with her/them I started thinking (again) about becoming a midwife. I thought how awesome it would be to work with them and could actually see myself doing it. It gave me a little butterfly in my stomach.

After I had my little tyke my midwife came over to check on me and the baby. We started chatting about this and that and then she asked me if I had ever thought about becoming a midwife. "Sure," I said with excitement, but then I confessed that it scared the crap out of me because it was such a huge responsibility. She agreed with me profusely, and then admitted that after one of our appointments she turned to her daughter (midwife that she works with) and said, "Can't you see her working with us?" Both of them agreed and then told me this at this appointment. I got so excited. I wanted to start right away, but of course my midwife knows what it is to raise little babies. She told me to spend time with my little guy and enjoy it. A couple of weeks ago I saw her and she asked me if I wanted to come to a birth with her in Nov. A birth? Already? Yes! Yes, I do!

A couple of days ago my husband and I were watching Netflix. Lately I have really enjoyed the Documentaries and I found one called "The Journey of Birth". Mostly it was hoorah for midwives, but it was so intriguing. It showed a birth, the whole thing vagina and all, and all I could do was cry.

One woman described what it was to have a natural (no interventions) birth, or to her a home birth. What she said rang true for me. I had a friend ask me why I have my babies at home and all I could say was because... but now I know why.

Actually, there isn't just one reason. The lady (sorry can't remember her name) on the show described what happens to a woman during labor. She reaches a point where she finds herself between a rock and a hard spot, I call this quitting time. It is the time in which I say to everyone around me "That's it I quit! I'm done! Everyone go home I don't want to have this baby anymore." Once you realize there is no backwards step to take you push through. It will be, and is the hardest thing you/I have every done or will do, but the reward, the sense of accomplishment... it's more than accomplishment it's relief, power, joy, release is so empowering I can't even describe it to you. That is why I do it. That is why I have my babies at home. Not to mention it is incredibly helpful on the pocket book.

Next month I start meeting with the two other midwives and the mothers to be. I'm nervous. I'm wondering what will happen with my kids. Who will watch them, will it work out, will my husband support me, and then my stomach does the flip flops.

A part of me wonders if this will curb some of my desire, need to have another child. Who knows. We'll see.

Vicious

Obviously it has been some time since I've posted. I wish I could say that I am super busy. I'm not. I really don't have one of those really good reason to not blog. I just find that I'm so bored all of the time. Everything bores me. Reading bores me, typing bores me. The only thing that doesn't seem to bore me is playing mahjongg on facebook, which if you saw how many times I have played that game it would disgust you.

Sometimes I feel like I am the 8 month old. Go here, look at that, get bored with that, pick up a piece of paper, put it to my mouth, no that tastes nasty, put it back on the floor, try it again in hopes it might taste better the second time, what is that a fly? Why is there a fly on my arm? Oh, that's right I was going to clean the house, what's a house? How many numbers are in 3,567,890,998,983,325? Why am I sitting here again? Dinner? Who's cooking dinner and why isn't it done yet? I'm hungry.

Then I'm playing ping-pong with my weight and it's really starting to frustrate me. Honestly I don't eat a lot of crap. I don't eat a gallon of ice cream every night. I exercise, eat whole grains, oatmeal, millet, blueberries, salad, veggies and I still haven't let go of any of this weight. I'm starting to wonder if there is something else happening in my body that I am unaware of. It's really getting me down. Like, seriously getting me down, especially because I am exercising and that's supposed to help right?

Maybe it's because I'm 32, have 4 kids, and found a passion for couponing so maybe buying and eating fruit gushers is the problem, although that was only today that I ate the gushers.

Oh and 'grandma' came to visit, which always makes me onry with myself and makes it harder to think that i am beautiful....

sigh...

Now, that's What I'm talking about

BOOO YA!!!!
Now, that's what I'm talking about! Here
Have as much fun as I did!

It's called.....

....an over the shoulder boulder holder, and yes my dear if your boobies are bigger than a size c you NEED no, not just need, MUST wear one, especially if you go to the grocery store wearing a sleeveless shirt and your boobs are sitting on your lap while you are standing.

Yes, I saw a lady walk into the grocery store today, what, probably a size F (at least) with them sagging low... you know kind of funny, but a song comes to mind:

Do your boobs sag low
Do they wobble to a fro
Can you tie 'em a not
Can you tie 'em in a bow
Can you sling over your shoulder
Like a continental solider,
Do your boobs sag low?

I'm all for walking around the house in some freedom. Heck, after hauling mine around all day I love to release them at bedtime, but never, and I mean never, would I walk into public place with my hooters hitting my stomach fat. Ewwwwwe, gross! *belch*

And, I know what you are thinking. She's old, right? Nope, probably in her late 50's. That's not old enough to go, "oops, forgot my bra today". No, you have to be at least in your late 70's before you can pull that one. She didn't even have gray hair. Shudder...

Fair Weather....

I'm bugged. Surprised? No, but I am. I wish I could be bugged and not have to blog about it, but I do... or I can't shut my mouth, or something.

So, you know when you feel like you do all that you can to be a good friend, things like: you call when they have a bad day, you hang out at their house, you cook 'em dinner, you invite them over, you buy drinks for them, movie tickets and other random things because you're friends and that's what friends do, right?

I guess I don't understand why others don't reciprocate some of the same things. I know, I know, not everyone serves the same, or gives the same way, but some giving would be nice, no? It might even show you that you are indeed loved and valued by this person. Even a "thank you so much for being there for me" would be appreciated. So, why then, am I getting the bucket full of sh** instead of a nice phone call when I need someone? Or, a complete and utter ignore fest at a school party instead of a 'hey you, come on over here and lets chat'?

Pfff... guess I am so naive that I assumed people that you cared for would love and honor and respect you. Well, now that I know that not so sure I want to be someones door mat.

Any of you guys have those problems?

Bah Humbug

Seriously, is there something in the air that can make people crabby, because I am, and bad! It's like Medusa on steroids, or hormones, or something that makes her really super onrey at everything. You know, like the kids have a questions and I blow up. (big fat meany) My husband comes home from being out of town and I don't Mrs. Cleaver him. (you know, all happy and home cooked meal, wearing a dress with the house perfect and my hair perfect and pointy boobs perfect) ya...

I know allergies are in the air because, my land, and I can't breathe! My eyes itch constantly, and not just my eyeballs but my eyelids, and the bridge of my nose between my eyes that itches. I didn't put on makeup at all today because it just wasn't worth it. So, now that I know that allergies are every where (or pollen, whatever) I just wonder if meaness is contagious, or floats around, or something.

Seriously, where's my happy pill?

On a side note, I'm almost done with Mockingjay. Good series. I have really enjoyed it. Wish it wasn't going to end because then I will have to find something else to do with my time, cuz I have a lot of it... (Yes, I am so good that I get my maidly duties all done before 10:00 AM so I have time to spare).

I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer this summer and I was soooooooooooooooo sad to say goodbye to that. I really enjoyed it. Even now when I turn on my Netflix, via my Wii, I have flashbacks of Buffy. I might have to start it all over again. My husband would LOVE that! *rolls eyes*

So... I'm grumpy sourpuss today... hope tomorrow is better.

Life on the Edge

Catchy title, huh? Not sure why I picked it because really my life has been anything but on the edge.

We started school this week. *happy dance* I think the kids will like this year. My first son (second child) has a male teacher this year. Not sure how I feel about it just yet. He seems to not like him as much as his second grade teacher. She was a gem, though. Strict and completely loving. The best teacher ever! I told her I wanted her to move up with him every year so he can have such an amazing teacher. She really didn't think that was as good of an idea as I thought it was. Hum.. wonder why?

I've been coupon-ing a lot this summer. Totally ROCKS! I have 1o sticks of right guard deodorant that I bought for .25 cents a stick. Um hum...! I've gotten 5 tubes of toothpaste for free. Five toothbrushes another 5 sticks of deodorant all for free!

I love coupons, except I'm still learning so sometimes I don't get the best deal. Oh, I did get 5 rolls of paper towels for .09 cents a roll. Ya, that was a good day! In fact, at Smiths the week of the 25th of August they are having another coupon sale. All manufacturers coupons are valued at a dollar. So, if you have a coupon for Bounty paper towels for .25 cents at the register it will ring up at 1.00. So, you find the Bounty single paper towel rolls for 1.09 and buy them. That equals .09 cents a roll. Love coupons.... love, love, love coupons!

I have 40 boxes of family sized cereal down in my storage room if anyone is hungry come on over and we will chow down on some yummy cereal.

.... now... I'm so tired I should go take a nap...

or eat cereal.

...or fruit gushers, because I have plenty of those....

or ice cream!