Bothersome Bugs

Oh my land. Can I tell you how much I hate bugs. Creepy crawly...icky, yucky bugs. Hate, hate, hate them. A couple of days ago I was at my friends house and we were enjoying a lovely conversation when up from downstairs came three very loud girls. My friends two daughters and my daughter were all screaming about a bug. Ya, (roll the eyes) It's probably just a small bug, you know like a cricket, earwig or something. No big deal. So, downstairs us two moms went. My friend stopped in the bathroom grabbed a liner and a tissue. I kind of follow not knowing exactly where the bug was hiding. She pulls back her daughters covers and low and behold to my absolute horror it was no small bug lurking on the sheets. It was this: Me and my friend see it at the same time. She hollers, and I mean hollers at her husband who was down the hall. He doesn't respond, nor do I, as I stand there staring at this enormous bug. My friend, being the brave one, grabs a dustpan and starts trying to maneuver the bug into the liner. I didn't know what to do so I start dancing around the room flicking off imaginary bugs while my friend was doing the dirty work. (her house, let her deal with the bug) Icky, yucky.... right as she gets the bug into the bag she lets out the loudest blood curtling scream I have ever heard from an adult women who was not in the movies, nor was her life in danger by a giant falling rock, ... her husband walks into the room seconds later... he saw the bug and started laughing. We walk up stairs with the bug held at least twenty feet from both of us and head outside. I decide, the genius that I am, that I want to take a look one more time and as I open the bag my friend yelps again to try to scare me. I get wigged out and throw the bag. I look up laughing and see the construction workers across the street staring at us. Then she grabs the bag as it is floating in the wind (probably not to litter) opens the bag to let the bug out, screams one more final time and I just stand back in amazement, ugly sick thing... we start laughing so hard the pee almost comes. You know the laugh? Pee, it was right there, I could feel it.

So, the name? Jerusalem Cricket