I'm bored! And I want to write something about church today, but I don't know if I have the energy to tell you all that happened.
It was a wonderful day in Sunday School. I really like our teacher. He says that at night, when he can't sleep, he goes through the lesson, which is of course, the book of Mormon, and gets great insight as he is reading alone in a quiet place.
So today we talked about chapter 17 in 3 Nephi. There were some really great things in there. I got chocked up and just was caught up in the spirit of the meeting. Mainly because of a comment so random, and not directly related to the lesson, but so needed.
I want to share it with you, but I know it wouldn't come out right. You might not understand where I am coming from, and yet you might... I don't know. I had a Seminary Teacher tell me once that there are different kinds of revelation. There is personal revelation and revelation for a particular calling, kids, etc. Well, then he said that our personal revelation is meant for us. It is revealed to us, and sometimes when we try to tell other people about our personal revelation they just don't get it. This is most likely one of those moments. It was personal and very needed and in fact, it was connected to the poem I wrote. BUT... it was needed and wonderful and uplifting when it came.
Maybe, I will testify to you that I know of the power of pray. I know, and have witnessed that power applied in my life. I have gratitude that our Heavenly Father gives us prayer and answers those prayers. It is beautiful and wonderful thing.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
A poem...
I wrote this last night. FYI, this poem is not about me. There are some things happening in my family that makes me wonder... I have felt this way before, but now, it is someone elses pain that I feel and so I need to write....
I feel so sad siting here alone in the darkness
My paper and pen are my only friends.
My chair so stable and sure
Is my connection to the strength of mother earth.
My mind wanders through the pain
and questions why one soul can hurt.
Levels and levels are stacked upon
a single aching heart.
To much pain for one to bear.
To much sadness deep inside.
Despair and hatred led me here.
Fear was always constant on my shoulder if you please.
I do not wish to be a member any longer
of this horrible despair I feel.
But where do I turn when the light is off?
Where do I go when the doors are shut and locked?
Will I ever find my way?
Will this sadness leave my soul?
Somewhere deep inside is hidden such a key
That will bring joy to all of the shawdows in my soul.
If only strength and light would be my guide
to help me find this precious needed key.
It seems such a waste to sit here alone
with no one to share my despair.
I feel so sad siting here alone in the darkness
My paper and pen are my only friends.
My chair so stable and sure
Is my connection to the strength of mother earth.
My mind wanders through the pain
and questions why one soul can hurt.
Levels and levels are stacked upon
a single aching heart.
To much pain for one to bear.
To much sadness deep inside.
Despair and hatred led me here.
Fear was always constant on my shoulder if you please.
I do not wish to be a member any longer
of this horrible despair I feel.
But where do I turn when the light is off?
Where do I go when the doors are shut and locked?
Will I ever find my way?
Will this sadness leave my soul?
Somewhere deep inside is hidden such a key
That will bring joy to all of the shawdows in my soul.
If only strength and light would be my guide
to help me find this precious needed key.
It seems such a waste to sit here alone
with no one to share my despair.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Husbands
This post is dedicated to the wonderful men, husbands and fathers out there.
I love my husband. There aren't words to describe the feelings I have for this man in this moment. I love how hard he works for me. I love that he plays soccer with the kids. I love that he teaches them how to weld. I love that he loves me. I love that he changes diapers. I love that he will get up with the kids, especially when they are babies, and bring them to me to feed. I love that he tries so hard to make me so happy.
The other day he came home from the general Priesthood session of conference and he told me that he really enjoyed it... er.. what was that? Yes, he enjoyed it, and he said.."I didn't even fall asleep".... which is good for him, church makes him sit still and he doesn't do that often, so when he does he is so relaxed and comfortable he falls asleep, but that's not my point. My point is, he came home and told me he has some work to do on his spirituality. uh hum...what? President Monson counseled the men, to "do what you need to do, be what you need to be, and learn what you need to learn"... Thank you very much Pres. Monson... really, that meant the world to me.
My husband is a good man, he takes care of me, he takes care of the kids, and ... and my husband works hard... for me... he works hard so I can have a roof over my head. He works hard so I can stay home and take care of the kids. He works hard because he is a good man. A tender man, a compassionate man, a spiritual man, who understands that he wants great things for his life and he constantly strives to be a better man.
For all of the men out there that understand "where much is given, much is required", I want to say thank you. We as woman honor and respect you!
I love my husband, my man, my life, my lover, my partner. I love you CC!
I love my husband. There aren't words to describe the feelings I have for this man in this moment. I love how hard he works for me. I love that he plays soccer with the kids. I love that he teaches them how to weld. I love that he loves me. I love that he changes diapers. I love that he will get up with the kids, especially when they are babies, and bring them to me to feed. I love that he tries so hard to make me so happy.
The other day he came home from the general Priesthood session of conference and he told me that he really enjoyed it... er.. what was that? Yes, he enjoyed it, and he said.."I didn't even fall asleep".... which is good for him, church makes him sit still and he doesn't do that often, so when he does he is so relaxed and comfortable he falls asleep, but that's not my point. My point is, he came home and told me he has some work to do on his spirituality. uh hum...what? President Monson counseled the men, to "do what you need to do, be what you need to be, and learn what you need to learn"... Thank you very much Pres. Monson... really, that meant the world to me.
My husband is a good man, he takes care of me, he takes care of the kids, and ... and my husband works hard... for me... he works hard so I can have a roof over my head. He works hard so I can stay home and take care of the kids. He works hard because he is a good man. A tender man, a compassionate man, a spiritual man, who understands that he wants great things for his life and he constantly strives to be a better man.
For all of the men out there that understand "where much is given, much is required", I want to say thank you. We as woman honor and respect you!
I love my husband, my man, my life, my lover, my partner. I love you CC!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Lazy
Oh my...I just spent a good hour looking at profiles on Facebook.
How sad is my life?
Well not to sad considering I just took an age test and it says that I am 19. I'm cool with that.. I really enjoyed my 19th year. It was fun and exciting. I felt mucho, mucho alive!!
Well, I guess looking at profiles beats cleaning my house, although, I do wonder what my husband would say to see the house in such a condition... oh wait.. he doesn't care, or maybe I don't care that he does care, in any case, I gues I am back to facebook or I could go play mobsters online... tehee... isn't my life just exquisite?
How sad is my life?
Well not to sad considering I just took an age test and it says that I am 19. I'm cool with that.. I really enjoyed my 19th year. It was fun and exciting. I felt mucho, mucho alive!!
Well, I guess looking at profiles beats cleaning my house, although, I do wonder what my husband would say to see the house in such a condition... oh wait.. he doesn't care, or maybe I don't care that he does care, in any case, I gues I am back to facebook or I could go play mobsters online... tehee... isn't my life just exquisite?
Friday, October 10, 2008
Wonderful World of Wonder!
I don't know what's with the title, it just is....
I am sitting here in my front room listening to the crackle of the fire... yes I said fire... it is 39 degrees outside. Yes, funny, last week it was something like 59 for the low. I tell you this year has been crazy all around. Spring took forever to come, summer was short and fall is just about gone.
So, I am sitting here, listening to the fire crackle in my wood burning stove. I love my wood burning stove. *Sigh* you smell that? Ummm..
This year Darling Husband and I are so focused on being prepared for whatever may come our way. He went up on the mountain with a bunch of men from our ward a couple of weeks ago. Every year our ward has an annual wood haul where they get as much wood as they can for member's who need it. He came back with a truck and trailer full of wood. Then last week we went up again when very unexpectedly my dog encountered a very unpleasant porcupine. The darn thing wasn't very happy when my dog decided to bite him, and for that matter my dog wasn't happy after he bit him. I doubt he will do that again.
Back to my story, we chopped wood today. My hubby and his friend got a wood splitter and split a lot of wood while me and my three lovelies loaded the wood into our container. It was amazing to see my kids, even my three year old, hauling wood. I used to live in Vegas on an 1/8 of an 1/8 of an acre (probably exaggerating) but it was small and we didn't have a wood burning stove. We moved to Utah and live on 2 acres now, anyway, I was so happy today hauling that wood. My 3 kids were incredible, not even a complaint, and I wondered if I would have seen them work this much had we not moved. Well, maybe not outside anyway.
So...wonderful world of wonder!!!
Have a beauty
I am sitting here in my front room listening to the crackle of the fire... yes I said fire... it is 39 degrees outside. Yes, funny, last week it was something like 59 for the low. I tell you this year has been crazy all around. Spring took forever to come, summer was short and fall is just about gone.
So, I am sitting here, listening to the fire crackle in my wood burning stove. I love my wood burning stove. *Sigh* you smell that? Ummm..
This year Darling Husband and I are so focused on being prepared for whatever may come our way. He went up on the mountain with a bunch of men from our ward a couple of weeks ago. Every year our ward has an annual wood haul where they get as much wood as they can for member's who need it. He came back with a truck and trailer full of wood. Then last week we went up again when very unexpectedly my dog encountered a very unpleasant porcupine. The darn thing wasn't very happy when my dog decided to bite him, and for that matter my dog wasn't happy after he bit him. I doubt he will do that again.
Back to my story, we chopped wood today. My hubby and his friend got a wood splitter and split a lot of wood while me and my three lovelies loaded the wood into our container. It was amazing to see my kids, even my three year old, hauling wood. I used to live in Vegas on an 1/8 of an 1/8 of an acre (probably exaggerating) but it was small and we didn't have a wood burning stove. We moved to Utah and live on 2 acres now, anyway, I was so happy today hauling that wood. My 3 kids were incredible, not even a complaint, and I wondered if I would have seen them work this much had we not moved. Well, maybe not outside anyway.
So...wonderful world of wonder!!!
Have a beauty
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Conference
Loved, loved loved, conference, or what I was able to hear of it. I will, in a nutshell, tell you what I liked, and here goes:
1. the talk about not knowing everything but knowing enough, especially the little girl that turned to the boy with no legs and told him that God made him special. Oh sweet, and innocent and tender.
2. LOVED! Elder Oaks talk on the appropriate things to wear in church, in passing the sacrament, and why. LOVED THIS TALK! I do not like it when I see flip flops and t-shirts at church.
3. Loved Elder Bednars talk on prayer. Oh, what sweet words he spoke on the power of prayer and how every once in a while we need to pray to Heavenly Father and just thank him for everything that we have and not ask for anything. Loved this talk!
4. Oh and there seemed to be a lot of talks on Missionary work and being prepared for building up Zion. Does that mean something more than just...well a talk? (personally, I think we are being told what is to come and ways to prepare...just my opinion...my very strong opinion).
I loved the music in both sessions. Those children singing were absolutely amazing. It reminded me of our Primary Program we had last week. It was so tender and so touching, that I really felt as though the Lord gave me direction in how to be a better mother and a better teacher to my children.
So... excited for tomorrows talks....
1. the talk about not knowing everything but knowing enough, especially the little girl that turned to the boy with no legs and told him that God made him special. Oh sweet, and innocent and tender.
2. LOVED! Elder Oaks talk on the appropriate things to wear in church, in passing the sacrament, and why. LOVED THIS TALK! I do not like it when I see flip flops and t-shirts at church.
3. Loved Elder Bednars talk on prayer. Oh, what sweet words he spoke on the power of prayer and how every once in a while we need to pray to Heavenly Father and just thank him for everything that we have and not ask for anything. Loved this talk!
4. Oh and there seemed to be a lot of talks on Missionary work and being prepared for building up Zion. Does that mean something more than just...well a talk? (personally, I think we are being told what is to come and ways to prepare...just my opinion...my very strong opinion).
I loved the music in both sessions. Those children singing were absolutely amazing. It reminded me of our Primary Program we had last week. It was so tender and so touching, that I really felt as though the Lord gave me direction in how to be a better mother and a better teacher to my children.
So... excited for tomorrows talks....
Friday, October 3, 2008
Time for Me
I wasn't able to go to the General RS meeting last Saturday, but I did have the opportunity to listen to it and it was beautiful. On so many levels it resonated within my heart. The one talk that I would like to discuss today is a part of Elder Uchdorff's talk.
I have been on a quest of understanding what it means to 'take time for yourself'. I have gotten massages. I have had pedicures. I get my hair done regularly, a great while back I even had my nails done, but I am a piano player and I CAN NOT stand to play with fingernails... anyway, I recently went with my Mother-in Law and Sisters-in-law to get a massage and go to dinner. I had a lovely time. The massage was wonderful, and I got to do some shopping, which was lots of fun without 3 kids, but after I left, I thought "Hum, I don't feel as good as I thought I would," and I wondered why.
Elder Uchdorff first told us women to stop apologizing for what we think is not perfect about ourselves. He explained that we are all in the same boat, but what he said next made me think about my quest. He talked about service and how, when we are in the service of others we find can really truly find our selves. That service can be physical, emotional, or even spiritual, which brings me to my next point. I wonder if pampering yourself, or taking 'me' time doesn't mean getting a massage, or a pedicure, but merely taking time to fill my/your spiritual bucket.
Sometimes taking that time actually means helping another. Sometimes it means spending quiet moments of reflection, prayer, and scripture study that fill and add to our spiritual/love bucket. Sometimes, at least in my case, it means listening to the Sunday School lesson and increasing my knowledge, and sometimes, it simply means having family prayer, and family scripture study.
I used to think that a massage would solve everything. That taking a break from the kids would make me feel so much better, but in all actuality I feel so much better when we are together as a family learning something new together. I had such a good time about a week ago reading scriptures with the kids. We were in Alma (the war chapters) so we pulled out my sons castle and little men and acted out what was happening in the scriptures. They loved it! And crazy thing, so did I. Those are the moments that feed 'me'. That pamper 'me'.
Now, just as a disclaimer, I am not perfect. My children do fight, and complain, and hit and pinch and tease each other. I get mad and yell, and...(I will say this part quietly)...sometimes spank my children, but I am trying to find ways to work through that. To respond differently and to become the best mother that I can be. These are just some ideas that have been floating around my head.
I have been on a quest of understanding what it means to 'take time for yourself'. I have gotten massages. I have had pedicures. I get my hair done regularly, a great while back I even had my nails done, but I am a piano player and I CAN NOT stand to play with fingernails... anyway, I recently went with my Mother-in Law and Sisters-in-law to get a massage and go to dinner. I had a lovely time. The massage was wonderful, and I got to do some shopping, which was lots of fun without 3 kids, but after I left, I thought "Hum, I don't feel as good as I thought I would," and I wondered why.
Elder Uchdorff first told us women to stop apologizing for what we think is not perfect about ourselves. He explained that we are all in the same boat, but what he said next made me think about my quest. He talked about service and how, when we are in the service of others we find can really truly find our selves. That service can be physical, emotional, or even spiritual, which brings me to my next point. I wonder if pampering yourself, or taking 'me' time doesn't mean getting a massage, or a pedicure, but merely taking time to fill my/your spiritual bucket.
Sometimes taking that time actually means helping another. Sometimes it means spending quiet moments of reflection, prayer, and scripture study that fill and add to our spiritual/love bucket. Sometimes, at least in my case, it means listening to the Sunday School lesson and increasing my knowledge, and sometimes, it simply means having family prayer, and family scripture study.
I used to think that a massage would solve everything. That taking a break from the kids would make me feel so much better, but in all actuality I feel so much better when we are together as a family learning something new together. I had such a good time about a week ago reading scriptures with the kids. We were in Alma (the war chapters) so we pulled out my sons castle and little men and acted out what was happening in the scriptures. They loved it! And crazy thing, so did I. Those are the moments that feed 'me'. That pamper 'me'.
Now, just as a disclaimer, I am not perfect. My children do fight, and complain, and hit and pinch and tease each other. I get mad and yell, and...(I will say this part quietly)...sometimes spank my children, but I am trying to find ways to work through that. To respond differently and to become the best mother that I can be. These are just some ideas that have been floating around my head.
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