With or Without You

Yesterday my family and I went up to Brian Head for a BBQ, and on the way home my husband started messing around with my Ipod and put a song on I haven't heard in years.

With or Without You by U2.

Best. Song. Ever.

Now, let me tell you why I absolutely adore this song.

I was kind of a freak in high school and by freak, I mean floater. I didn't really have a 'group' of friends that I hung out with. Don't get me wrong, I had friends, and some close ones but not a lot. I didn't quite fit in anywhere. Stomps, or high school dances were my world. I love music so deeply and passionately that you would think I could dance. Nah, I'm a sway-er, especially in high school where I had no self confidence. I would either sway or go in circles because it's difficult to mess those up. The only time I wouldn't sway was when this song was playing.

There was a boy in our high school that could dance, oh howdy, could he dance. I would keep tabs on him knowing where he was at all times just in case this song came on. I was like a rat on a Cheeto. I know kind of gross and a little weird, but so very true. I'm not sure if anyone else could tell my obsession with him and this song. I often wonder if he knew. The second, the very instant, this song began to play I would race over and snatch him up as fast as I could, and for those 4 mins I was in heaven. He moved me around the dance floor so gracefully I felt like a queen. I felt beautiful and important and worth something more.. just more than what I thought I was or thought I was worth. He moved with such elegance and poise that my body would just melt into his.

This song was my respite from my life of plainness. It was the one time that I felt every note, every beat, every strum deep in my soul. It's interesting because most of the time it's the words that make the music, but not this song. It's the music that makes the song and the words just add to its beauty. The drums, the bass guitar.. ah, the postlude where the bass and the electric guitar start drumming it out and-- man-- my whole body is transported into what I call my 'happy place'. It's the place where words have no meaning, where.. where you just feel. It's the place where you accept and LOVE yourself for every ugly freckle, fat roll, and obnoxious controlling behavior. It's the place where you can just 'be', and when you dance with someone who moves so perfectly you can't help but to feel a little happier.

I love this song!

And, I have just now listened to it about a dozen times while writing this post.

I'm happy and my husband will probably be happy a little later tonight. ;->.