Tired and Pissy

I find myself, yet again, in the tired and pissy category. What I mean by pissy is really, really ornery and sensitive, and very, very impatient.

For example, I was at choir practice today and I got frustrated because:

1. We aren't vocally good and
   
2. The director tries to do things that are to hard for are very vocally challenged ward choir, and
   
3. A really dumb lady in the choir who has no musical background and can't sing to save her life was trying to get the director to do the harder version, and she used the "oh we will sound fine and the Lord will help us sound good" adage. UGGHH!!
   

Then her and I got into a little heated debate about the quality of a performance and how we sound pretty good, and during the performance this rendition will sound great... yada yada... Uh, no... we don't, and it won't, but it might just be because I sang in the most awesome-est (yes it is a word today) of Stake Choirs when I lived in Nevada and that director strived for perfection, commitment, and excellence. So needless to say I got pissy and I told her I probably wouldn't sing if it ended up being a train wreck because... I don't know, I am vain? Or so obsessed with perfection I can't see straight? Shrug

Then, I talked to my friend and either I am in a funk or she is and it is the old 'not good enough' feeling creeping up again. Its frustrating really, and sometimes I wonder why I am friends with her. I think we think so little of each other and it puts both of us on the war path, when in reality we should be kind and gentle and loving (like my post before this one) to each other and ourselves, but we don't so, anyway, pissy again.

Then I started to wonder how much my cycle has to play in the ornery-ness, or pissy-ness. Does a certain spike in one hormone or the other cause me to drop to a place where I feel unloved, rejected and totally worth crap?

Something to ponder and search out, in fact after I write this post I will research the different surges of hormones in a women's body during her menstrual cycle and see if there is one that is connected to the time in my cycle when I feel low. It would be worth thinking about anyway.

Now I will retire to my bedroom and probably cry and talk to Heavenly Father about how crappy I feel, and sad I feel, and rejected I feel. He always listens when I vent. Such a good Dad he is... such a good Dad!!