Dreams

So, the last few nights I've been having some crazy dreams. Normally it's some weird running from something or other, or stuck in a house with all these crazy staircases like in the optical illusions, but the other night I actually had a really good dream.

As most of my readers know I have been somewhat of a crazy lady these last few months. When I decided to stop pumping it was also encouraged by a good friend of mine, she also suggested, or rather, reminded me that I needed to find my sweetness of life. She told me that she heard once that women need to be creative to find joy in life. Well... what do I do with that? I don't know, so anyway I have been thinking about ways to find my sweetness and the other night I had the best dream. I don't remember all of the details but it all led to a certain point where I was being told but also dreaming that I needed to laugh more, and so in my dream someone (can't remember who) said something that made me roll on the floor with laughter. It wasn't the start snickering during a prayer and then start laughing type of laugh. It was full of love and joy and from my toes made me laugh and feel a sense of euphoria. When I woke up, you know that place where you're still sleepy but waking up, I was feeling good. Just laid there with a smile for a moment and then I was fully awake and some of the good feelings left.

So, now I am on a quest to laugh more. Don't know how that's going to be possible but there is so much drama in my life I need a good release.

This morning I woke up to a dream that I was in hiding. I was like a really cool person that was a secret agent and I was undercover and the bad guys were on to me. It was pretty cool and not as scary as the normal running from someone dream. I knew who my enemies were and I knew how to defeat them. I just had to make sure I didn't get caught.

I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that I have been going on a Buffy marathon. Seriously, season 2 is pretty cheesy and I hope it gets better. Of course I suspected something was up with Giles, and his love interest too. I was right. Pretty predictable but decent enough that I keep watching. Maybe it is because I have OCD and once I start something like a series of any kind, be it TV or book, I can't stop until I'm done with the whole thing. I tried to fast forward but I couldn't because I was worried I might miss something.

Anyway....

Laughing... how does one go about that? (you know besides drinking and all)(I want the natural way).

Tornadoes are Back

Last night I had the dream again. Yes, you know, that dream where you dream it over and over and over and sometimes it turns out good and sometimes it's just plain rotten? Ya, so my freaky dream is about Tornadoes. I hate them! They scare me and I never want to live where there are any....

It normally goes something like this. I look out my window and see the weather is bad, the sky is dark and it's starting to storm, and then I look out again and there's like 20 tornadoes all happening at one time. Sometimes I am across town and realize I have left my kids home ALONE (why alone at such a young age I don't know), but they are alone and I start freaking out and try to find a way back to them only to be separated from them by a great big category 4 tornado. It sucks and scares the crap out of me and I always wake up with a knot in my throat.

Last night I dreamed about the tornadoes again, but for some reason this time it was different. I wasn't separated from my kids and I wasn't freaking out. I remember looking out my window and thinking okay--here they are. I was still scared a little but not completely freaking out, and the best part is I wasn't separated from my kids. I think we were all together, and like I said, I wasn't freaking out. This is a good thing, because I am great at freaking out- actually I think I'm a pro. They should have that in the Olympics-- best freak out-- ya, I think I would rock that sport.

Anyway-

When I have crazy dreams about tornadoes, heaters, drowning kids, even some crazy sex dreams (I know, I know) I like to pull out my dream book. Tornadoes means strong emotional upsets. Well, I have had strong emotional upsets and am sill having them, but this time, like in my dream, I'm not freaking out. Surprising how much better I feel. Maybe they should have that sport in the Olympics too--calm collected sport in the face of DANGER-- ya, sounds dumb I know. :D

So, you have any crazy dreams? What do you think of them?

Dream

I just got on Facebook and looked up a good friend of mine, and in looking at all her photos of her children that are much older than they were 16 years ago, I got a little choked up. In High School I was very involved in theater. Theater was my life from what...12 to 19. I did plays, was involved in the community theater, actually worked there. I miss it. This friend, well her husband was my theater teacher so that also made me think more about school. I went to college and did some (very little) theater because my social life was much, much to important.

Looking back I wonder.... when I came home from school (I only went for two years, and met my husband) but when I moved back home before I got married I auditioned for, well, what I would deem the best frickin role ever... years ago Audrey Hepburn played a blind lady in Wait Until Dark. She was amazing. Ya, I got to play that part. I still get all happy and fuzzy inside when I think that I got that role (although, had Eve tried out, I am not so sure i would have gotten it ;). Anyway it was amazing. AMAZING!!! A chance of a life time.

I miss theater. As I am sitting here contimplating my life while listening to Les Miserable, I am all lost in memories. Theater was such a part of me. What happened? I don't know.....

Are there any regrets in your life?